A few weeks ago I mentioned how to raise a Teen in 2011; I wanted to follow up on that post and tell you, Teens do listen.
Being a Teen in the new Century really isn’t all that easy and being a Mom of a Teen most defiantly, no matter what century, isn’t easy. However I can’t stress enough communicate with your teen. Talk to your Teen every chance you get; they may not listen at that time, BUT when it comes time to make a decision, they will remember what you had said. I pick my Teen up a few days a week after I get off work, from his various after school activities, like soccer practice or volunteering at the library or yes, the occasional detention for writing too many checks.
I know, I lost you about writing to many checks, so I explain that real quick. My son’s high school and actually my tweens middle school have the same check system. Each student gets a paycheck every month and they can save their money till the school holds an auction and spend it, they had pretty cool things last time they had an auction including Laptops, Xbox360, LCD screens and all kind of stuff.. nice..hu? Anyways, only the kids with the most money saved will have a chance of buying the “good” and “cool” stuff…because you have to write checks to the teacher for misbehaving, missing work or homework and other things; if a student writes 20 check they get detention… I really like the check system, it teaches the kids responsibilities, how to write checks and how to take care of their own life. It works well…..Well….. my son still gets detention once a year for writing 20 checks…. He knows my standpoint and tries his best, BUT he slacks towards the end of the year, he’s learning and getting better….But in the end, it’s his choices that get him there and he has to learn that.
So, back to why Teens really will listen. So, on all those afternoons when I pick him up, it’s just him and I in the car, we talk, we sometimes ignore each other and other times we sing a song together.. it’s a fun time. The other day the Teen came home from school with a letter for Selecting his 2012 class schedule; He already had it filled out and wanted me to sign; He was hoping I wasn’t going to read the sheet and just sign… well, I read everything, some things better than others, but I read. I saw that he was not going into Spanish Honors III this year, instead he elected PE. I was very up sad. I argued with him, how important it is nowadays to know Spanish and with him being able to take it in school and get credit for it, he should jump all over it.
I also mentioned to him that a friend of mine, her son was just denied a job , which he was very well qualified for, because of his lack of Spanish. Let’s face it, like it or not, Spanish is becoming a big factor in the business world, no matter where you go, you will get further if you know Spanish.
I argued my point for 3 days; ignored signing the slip. My Teen argued back and neither one of us let the subject rest; he wanted out of Spanish and I wanted him in Spanish. Finally the day came and he had to send the note back to school. I was done arguing, I brought my point across, my thoughts and feelings and it was now up to him; He is the one that has to study and take the classes not me. So, I signed his class assignment slip and send him on his merry way. After all, he has to learn to make his own decisions, I will be there to guide him but in the end its his decision.
Now fast forward a few days and not another word was said about the class selection. I thought the subject is all through and we moved on. Till my Teen said one sentence to the Tween ” Well, I’ll be learning two languages next year, German and Spanish”… I looked and said, you mean Spanish will be back on your agenda for school year 2013??
He said nope… It will be on my agenda for next school year…..:-) I looked at him and Said” You were determined not to take Spanish next year cause you said it was too difficult?”.. he just said ” Thanks Mom…. I added it once I got to school…. After you had signed the permission slip….:-) “.
Now you tell me, they do take to heart what you say, they may not always listen to you, but they will listen to your arguments and then decide on their own if this is a good choice for them or not…. BUT talk to them, you will never know how much you will and can influence them in choices that will help them through life…..
I’m proud of my Teen for making the decision on his own to take up Spanish again, he’s is a wonderful kid…
What are you proud off with your Tween or teen ?? Would love to hear your parenting stories ……